My Mama Always Told Me…
There are a lot of things in my life which are good, wise, biblically based, principles of living that I didn’t learn because I read them in the bible. I learned them because my mom told them to me. She told them to me with that look on her face which meant to me- “This is serious, you should pay attention to this, it means something.”
I am guessing that, as many parents do (I know I did when it was my turn) she probably wondered if I got it. If I was paying attention or daydreaming. She probably walked away from many of those discourses thinking “Well that was a waste of breath.” But it wasn’t Mom, really. I listened. And by the way, thanks. Hearing those things from your mouth when I was too young to even apply them but old enough to know they should be stored away for later made a BIG difference in my life.
Here are a few of the succinct points of wisdom that she taught me that made a huge difference in my life, even if I didn’t get some of them down pat for a decade or two after she said them.
LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS. That means spend less than you earn. Not more than you earn, not exactly how much you earn, LESS than how much you earn. If everyone in our country did this (including those running it) Apple might not be worth as much but we would have far fewer problems in life. I didn’t get this one till I was about 23, which is about 12 years after she taught it to me, but it has made a huge difference.
DON’T BORROW MONEY. This may seem the same as the above one but it isn’t. You can borrow money and have your payments be low enough to spend less than you earn every month. She did put a few caveats on this. She acknowledged that the vast majority of people have to borrow to, at the least, buy a house. But so many people simply live on debt that they are slaves to it (by the way, this is what the bible says about debt). Whenever my wife and I have gone to get a mortgage (we have purchased 6 houses so we have done it a few times) the loan officers say “No, really, we need you to list ALL of your debt.” and are shocked to find that all we have is our current house.
DON’T QUIT YOUR JOB TILL YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE. This sunk in deep and it is really simple but it has saved my bacon a number of times. You might be at a job that is terrible with a boss who hates you, but unless you want to be a slave to debt from not having any income, you bite your tongue and you show up for work and you do your job. Spend as much time as you need to looking for a better one but you keep the one you have till you get the next one. Which leads into the next wisdom point.
DON’T BURN YOUR BRIDGES. I admit I have not always done this one perfectly but I try to. When you leave that job you hate because you found the new one, be polite, be courteous and treat that jerk of a boss the way you know Jesus would want you to. Not just because Jesus would like it (although that is good enough reason) but you will be amazed at how many people that boss knows and they will make things terrible for you if you unwisely vent your full anger at them. And the real kicker is this, you may have to come back. You may not like it, you may not want it, but you might end up working for them again, either through a downturn in your career or they end up getting hired at your new workplace. And wouldn’t that be a bummer if you told them off and quit with no notice at that other place?
DO A GOOD JOB. She was specifically talking about work at the time but it applies everywhere. I was in elementary school and I had a paper route. She told me that these were my jobs at that point in life and my job was to get good grades and work hard to be good at delivering papers. My grades were mediocre and I had gotten into the habit of skipping a certain neighborhood on my route because I didn’t like going there (it was a free weekly paper). She told me that no matter who I was working for, I was really working for God and I needed to act accordingly. In life this has gotten me several promotions while those who just did enough to get by griped that they did not.
PICK A GOOD SPOUSE. She probably didn’t even notice when this one sank in for me but it was in July of 1979 when I was ten. I am sure she said this 1,000 other times later on but that’s when it sank in. It was on a Sunday and it was when I had decided to get baptized. She told me that this was the most important decision of my life and that the second most important was who I would marry. She said it in passing as a side note, but it sank in. After just celebrating my 25th anniversary with my wonderful wife, I can honestly say, “nailed it”.
Mom, if you are reading this, I owe you a debt of gratitude for teaching me these things even if it seemed like I didn’t listen. There were others not listed here and there were probably some which you did teach me that I don’t remember because I wasn’t paying attention (most of years 13 and 14, sorry) But these have served me well and I tried to pass them on to your grand-kids, and hopefully some others along the way.